[PODCAST EPISODE 38] A LITTLE BIT IS ENOUGH
When we find ourselves approaching healing from a deep sense of unworthiness, we can start to feel like we must know everything about healing and consume all the info we can. But this comes from a deep sense of inadequacy that is subtle but insidious.
In this episode, I'm helping you breathe a sigh of relief. You don't have to do it perfectly and you don't have to know everything to heal from trauma. You are worthy. It's not about the outside-in, but about the inside out.
Work with me: https://www.shylacash.com/workwithme
Email: [email protected]
I Choose to Honour Myself
I choose to honour myself
Today I did some serious journaling - reflecting. I’ve felt blocked in some areas of my mind and heart and I knew the answer was to go within.
So within I went.
I recognized some areas that I was abandoning myself still. Quitting on myself ever so subtly.
I got honest. I cried. I wrote.
I wrote about how quitting on myself when I was so close to the result was a way for me to re-enact my mothers’ abandonment and neglect.
Her broken promises.
Like a reflection in the rear-view of being 10 again and waiting for two hours for my mom to pick me up outside the school, alone.
I remember the way the trees looked - like a dream. The emptiness I felt. I remember her finally showing up … no call to the school to let them know she’d be late - no idea when she’d show up… finally she’d come and I’d ask why… reaching again - for some acknowledgement… and she’d make some flippant, dismissive comment...
Perfectionism, Healing and the Purity of our WORK
Unhealthy Perfectionism can be a form of self-abandonment and self-neglect.
When we get lost in the work as a way to numb ourselves, distract ourselves, or avoid emotional/relational areas of our lives that need tending to - we are being seduced by unhealthy perfectionism.
As high-performers, we can find comfort in knowing we are productive, successful and amazing at the work we do. But when it becomes a way to escape our own emotional world, perfectionism can be a sign of deep shame. When it begins to affect our performance because we are in internal agony over the quality of the work - whether it is good enough, and when we feel the work is a reflection of who we are at our core (therefore if it is good we are good, and if it is bad we are bad) this is when we begin playing with fire.
I’m not here to hate on perfectionism - I think it can be good/healthy in certain areas. You know, we want a surgeon to be perfectionist, we want artists to some degree to be...
[PODCAST] Episode 31 - Toxic Shame - Shining a Light in the Darkness
In this episode, I'm talking about toxic shame. What it is, where it comes from, its connection to codependency & poor boundaries, and how to start shining a light on the darkness of shame in your life.
Get the accompanying worksheet in the free facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/525326287969708
Email me: [email protected]
Work with me: https://www.shylacash.com/workwithme
Rupture & Repair - You Need to Understand this to Break Toxic Patterns After A Traumatic Childhood
Rupture and Repair is a concept I first discovered from Dr. Allan Schore's work a few years ago.
It is a framework for understanding resiliency (the ability to come back from difficult situations personally and in relationships with others) and how empathy acts as a foundational component of life and health.
When we understand the concept of rupture and repair - we start to understand trauma and it's deeper impact on life and work. All relationships will have ruptures. The ruptures themselves are not even what causes trauma... it is a rupture without repair which causes trauma.
In dysfunctional families - most or all (depending on the distance of the caregivers) ruptures go un-repaired. This impacts the brain functioning, physical and biological health, and emotional health of the child and causes the child to live in a state of "FRAGMENTATION" - a fancy way of saying that children who live in unsafe childhood homes essentially live separated from themselves and...
What I'm Worried About...
Magic is done from the heart, not the mind...
"Magic is done from the heart, not the mind..."
A quote from A Discovery of Witches lol. A show my husband and I have been devouring over the past weekend.
But isn't it true?
I'm not against the mind. After all I believe our thoughts create our results.
But I believe the mind must be "COHERENT" - basically fully connected - to the heart. And this is the piece of trauma healing that many miss - or inherently fear.
That everything you FEEL - deep within the regions of the body and self. Everything you ARE is where your magic comes from. Even the "magic" of healing from years of childhood trauma or family dysfunction.
All the keys you have are within you already. Within your beating heart. And all that we do is about coming back to that - isn't it?
The magic of you? Is in your heart.
Your hearts work, your heart's guidance, your heart's truth.
And all of this is about trust. About knowing that no amount of "thinking" all by itself will get you...
I Move and I Cry and I Scream...
I wade
I wade in these waters and I dance
Until everything is unraveled
And all is revealed.
And I move and I cry and I scream
And I know for sure
That I am here.
I open my eyes again and again to the sun
After all those years of pain
I see again - my big huge life
That I created from the ashes.
And I teach what I have learned.
A family is more than people who live in the same house.
You can come home to your body.
You are the sun and the moon and the stars.
You mean something.
You have the birthright to exist because you are here
And that is enough.
No one speaks for you.
You speak for your own self - you have the power to do it.
You have the power.
And I go back to my own heart.
To my own well.
And I allow it to run deep and deep and deeper still
And make no apologies
For what emerges from that place.
For what decides to open up.
Instead I be there. I be there. I be there with it.
I am there.
I am here.
I am here.
After everything.
Written by Yours Truly,
Shyla Cash...
...
Episode 22 - You're Not Stuck, You're Scared
In this episode, I'm explaining what's really going on when you feel stuck. And how to get unstuck so you can move your life forward.
Episode 21 - Functional Healing
In this episode I am peeling back the curtain on what I REALLY believe about healing from trauma using my concept of functional healing.
Work With Me: https://www.shylacash.com/workwithme
Email Me: [email protected]
Episode 21 - Functional Healing
SHOW TRANSCRIPT BELOW:
Hello Hello Hello how is everyone! I’m a little nervous about today’s episode because I’m going to be really really honest with you about my beliefs and my opinions on healing from trauma and I know it may rub up against some of you and it may feel like i’m being harsh or rude. But that is not at all my intent. I really believe that healing is my life’s work and I am so passionate about healing trauma and about healing as a global community so my ask of you if you should continue listening to this episode is that you take it in with some openness - doesn’t mean you have to agree. You are you and I am me and we won’t always agree. But I believe that if you can...
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